Wednesday, 14 June 2017

The evil raft

It was a loooooong boring drive to Akaroa. Nothing to do looking out the window. I  didn't know wha-
Well you probably don't want to know and listen to the long boring trip to nowhere that interesting. Let's just fast-forward to the ‘interesting’ parts. I was tugging, forcing jabbing on my togs, ready for a so called fun time (at the time it wasn't that bad). My sisters and I darted across the road eager to get into that pool full of tangy salty water that covers the earth, not minding that the sharp acute stones were being shoved into our feet. With a brimming splash we were in the cold, cold water, biting at our skin. 
“Hey Neve! I’ll race you to that raft over there!” Billie yelled over the noisy chopping water.
“Okay. Sure.” I raised my voice as a result of the water splashing up at my face. I swam my hardest over to the raft,, floating and drifting on the shimmering choppy water. To me it was obvious that Billie was going to reach it first. She hauled herself up onto the raft, making it look sooo easy. But my thoughts were wrong thinking it was that easy. By the time I finally reach the raff Billie was already on top staggering about. I fastened my depressed hands on the surface of the raft and pushed, trying to haul myself up. But me, being me, I wasn't able to get up. I could hear the swishing of the water beneath me, coming from my freezing cold legs. I tried once more but… I DIDN'T MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that's when I started to panic. 

I peeled my hand away from the surface of the raft and swam around it. What was I looking for? I was looking for a ladder to help me  get myself up. But seriously what kind of raft doesn't have a leader to get up on. I was like, ‘Why didn't think of that before?’ It turned out that this raft didn't have a leader on it. Like, what kind of person wouldn't put a leader on a raft? It definitely didn't help that the sides were all pointed and jagged with muscles and twigs and other really pointy things. So I tried to lift myself up one more time (which I probably shouldn't have done). I slapped my damp hands onto the damp, cold raft. I used all my strength. But that's when I realised that I was stuck. A cold, dirty, mucky feeling gushed down my throat. 

The mussel shells dug into my skin, like lots of shovels that have minds of their own, and they are going ca-ray-zee! I started to get goose bumps that could be M.T Everest!! I had to swallow the big lump in my throat, and I took a big breath ready to yell. My mouth was open I was about to scream, but out of nowhere a lot of salty, bitter and tangy water gushed into my mouth. The water forced itself down my throat, and I couldn't resist but swallow the water to get rid of the salty water taste. As I did so I kind of regretted it because the huge lot of water clumped up and rushed down my throat all at the same time when i gave them the chance. One last time I decided to yell. 
“I'm stuck!” I yelled. Well, I actually was panicking and SORT OF crying at that point. So I actually didn't yell it, because I cried it. But anyway. 
I-was-PETRIFIED! My eyes were open wide with fear. There were goose bumps on my skin, that could be Mount Everest! (Not really but you know what I mean). My insides tensed with fear.
“Billie! Help me! How did you get up!?” I yelled, over the chopping of the water. 
“I don't know what to do!” Billie said in a confused voice. I looked over to where mum and dad were. They were RELAXING on the sand! I was like: ‘seriously! I'm here stuck, and panicking my head off, and they are just relaxing! Wow! Just great!’ This thing kind of goes on for ages. Confusion, panicking, yelling and thrashing about. So let's just fast forward a wee bit, ⏭⏭. So.
 I could see this girl that looked about 12. She was coming towards me. I was still crying with the pain of all those mussels, sticks, coral and a few other spiky things, jabbing against my skin. When she reached the raff I was thinking: ‘can't she see me? I am stuck and she is about to climb up onto that thing, and get herself stuck too!’ Oh and if you were wondering Billie had sprang of the raft and swam over to tell mum and dad what had happened. But anyway. It turned out that, that girl had actually come to help me out! I was like, ‘finally, and thank you!’ Because it felt like I had been there for like hmm let me see - FOREVER!!!! Anyway. She came over to me, and asked if I needed help. All I did was groan. She helped me out by grabbing me by the waist, and pulled me up. You might be thinking why didn't I just jump off. But one of my legs were up on top of the raft, and the other was dangling in the water. Also the sticks and mussels were in my way. So! Back to topic. At first, we both struggled to get me down. I refused to let go and she couldn't get me down. But we eventually made it, with the help of team work. She grabbed me by the hand and helped me get back ashore. I was like ‘HALLELUJAH!’‘ as soon as we got to the dry sand once more she asked if I was okay. 
“Yeah.” I said pathetically. She was about to stagger off to where the rest of her family was (they were all probably wondering what she was doing. Because they didn't know us, and we didn't know them. So, yeah) but then mum and dad had to go and say thank you and say heaps of other stuff. But I don't really blame them. Because if she hadn't come and sssaaa-- SAVEd ME there I said it, ( not that I'm not greatful or anything) then I would probably still be out there stuck on that evil, evil raft right now. 

But besides all that confusion the rest of the time was…… alright. The rest of the day there was a bit of a blur. But I’m guessing that I was glad to be home. Also after that big hoha of a fiasco I was really tired and sore! Don't blame me for that. I had big scratches all down my leg. And it was bleeding at the time too! Oh life is so hard sometimes! But! One good thing came out of that huge mess. I learnt a lesson. NOT TO GO OUT ONTO RAFTS!!!!!!!!
They could be evil. They could have long Bulgy arms that can reach out and trap you in the body of the raft and you could turn evil and……………
Deep breaths. Deep-breaths. Ah that's better. Even though I made myself a rule not to go on rafts again, I still do. Like one time when we went to some other beach quite a drive from our house, and I saw a raft. And for some reason I thought that it would be fun to go and get up on that thing. I must have forgotten all about that big fiasco a while ago. Any way. I was in the water and hauled myself up. At Least I thought that I had. At that moment I thought whizzed through my body into my brain. I had a slight problem. Oh bother!

By: Neve Nuku.


Self reflection.

While I was writing this piece of writing I had a few things that I was learning and working on. The first thing that I was working on was using my punctuation correctly and using some different sorts of punctuation in my writing too. 

I think that I did pretty well on using on my punctuation. I was confident on where I had put it and I think I used a few of different types of punctuation and I think I used it correctly.

I would probably put myself on relational for my punctuation, because I used many different types of punctuation, I think I used them correctly and I know when, how and why to use them. 

My next steps for this I think is to make my way up to extended abstract. I am nearly there. Like I can probably teach/help people with their punctuation. 

Next I will need to seek some advice on how to improve on it and growing my knowledge on more types of punctuation.

The other thing that I was working on was using my brightsparks words well in my writing. 

I think that I did okay. I probably put like 20 or a wee bit more or a wee bit less than that. We had to highlight the words that came from our bright sparks book. But I only highlighted about three of them (bad form). But other than that I think I did pretty well. I did put in quite a few words that didn't come from my bright sparks book that I think are good descriptive words. 

I would probably put myself on relational. I have put many bright sparks words and I think that the do connect with the sentence/words around them. Also I think that they appeal to the senses.

My next steps for this is probably to move up to extended abstract and be able teach and help others, to choose the right words to put in their writing, to evoke emotion and appeal to the senses. I think that it won't be that long until I move onto extended abstract.

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